Is Your Body Telling You Something?

I just got off the phone with a friend who shared her journey of trying to deal with a bunch of non-life threatening, but miserable debilitating symptoms.  She has tried going to doctors, massage therapists, alternative care practitioners, nutritionists and psychotherapists.  She reported that she's feeling a little better, but admits that she's on the hunt for yet another type of doctor.

Do you know people like that?  Actually, I was one of them.  I would go from practitioner to another in search of a solution that I agreed with!  No, I didn't want to start medication, no I don't want surgery, no I don't want.....  During this time the aggravation and frustration added to the discomfort of my health problem.

Much of what my diagnosis was about what caused by stress,  AND, it was causing me more STRESS!

The bottom line is; according to the American Institute of Stress 75-90% of all visits to doctors result from stress related disorders!  No, you didn't choose for stress to get you sick, but your body is telling you loud and clear: DEAL WITH THE STRESS!

Now I'm beginning to understand that there are people who say that want the stress to be managed, but for some reasons they actually don't want to do the work to manage the stress.

Maybe they want a quick fix:  like taking a pill to make it go away.  The use of anti-anxiety, anti-depressants, are the fastest selling pharmaceutical medications.  

Maybe they want to ignore it and think it will go away: like vegging out in front of a TV set; or drinking or taking "recreational" drugs until they are in a stupor where they don't have to look at their lives; or eating until they have filled the emptiness in their soul.

Maybe they are actually enjoying the added attention that they are getting from people who are "cutting them a break", giving them sympathy for their terrible situation.  They are worried that if they are no longer a victim they will lose that love.

Maybe they are being "ENABLED" by family or friends, who are actually doing a disservice by not allowing the person to learn from the natural consequences dished out by the universe for people who are not living their lives purposefully.

Maybe they feel like they have to, or must, or should be taking care of the world outside themselves first, and this is what they will naturally suffer because they are such a good person to others. They see themselves as martyrs. This is victim mentality. 

This is tough love I'm telling you.  The worst lies are the ones you tell yourself.  Get over the guilt about what you've been doing up to now.  Have a HONEST heart to heart talk with yourself.  Speak as honestly as if you were talking to God (if you are a believer).  You can even look at yourself in the mirror while you're doing this. If you are not telling the COMPLETE TRUTH to yourself, you will feel it somewhere in your body; your gut, your heart, your shoulders; somewhere the tension will express itself.  You may even see it expressed in your face if you are looking in the mirror.

Throw away the blame at others, the world's situation.  This is about YOU and the choices that you've made based upon what life has dished out for you. There is NO "FAIR".  There is only your attitude.  Only once you are willing to accept this, will you be able to move forward.

The bottom line is: either you want to change, or you don't.  If you truly want to change more than you want what is, YOU WILL SUCCEED.

So, unless YOU are willing to take the first step of emotional management of your perception of and reaction to stress, your doctor is essentially fighting to free you from YOU. So get ready to spend a lot more money on new practitioners, and approaches to deal with your condition.

If you want help with dealing with that stress, and you are willing to do the work that will free you, I'm here to help you with tools that will help you listen to what is in your heart, and to move on with your life, right here, right now.

Wrinkles, Aging & Stress

It is probably next to impossible to determine how much money is being spent in western countries on anti-wrinkle potions, botox, plastic surgery and other methods to disguise our true face.  Other options to reduce the signs of life on our faces are yoga and other exercises for facial muscles.  There are facial exercise devices, electrical stimulation, acupuncture.  Smokers are told that their habit will cause lines around the mouth (is it from the smoke, or the repeated action of sucking on a cigarette?).  We're told to stay out of the sun, get more sleep, drink more water....

The one thing in common that is missing is the answer to wrinkles that we "know in our hearts".  Wrinkles are caused by holding our muscles in a particular expression over time.  Yes, that "old wives tale" is true!  Worry causes tightening of muscles groups in your face that will create lines over time.  Smiling will also create wrinkles - but which ones would you rather have?

So, instead of suggesting that buy a particularly good wrinkle  potion, I'm going to suggest an alternative form of wrinkle prevention.  STOP WORRYING!

"Worrying is like pre-paying a toll for a bridge you may never cross!"

When you pay attention in the moment to your emotions and how you are feeling, close your eyes and focus on where you hold tension in your body.  Most people feel tension in their shoulders.  But this may be the most interesting thing of all:  there is also an expression on your face that shows inner tension, or fear (or any emotion for that matter!).  To me, this is the most interesting thing of all. Research shows that there is a feedback loop: if you hold that expression on your face, the rest of your body responds to that expression and you start feeling the emotion. That means if you smile, you'll FEEL HAPPIER!!!

What does this mean and how can this help us? If you've been responding to events in your life with worry, or tension, look at your face.  Have you habitually been holding this expression on your face?  Do you already have wrinkles that are etched into your face?  Pay attention to the tight feelings in your face.  Then reduce them by focusing on joy, happiness and good memories.  You will feel an immediate change from the tight band across your forehead, the tightening of your eyes to a loosened relaxation in your face.

Yes, by focusing on joy, you change your facial expression, and that has an effect on not only your wrinkles, but on your autonomic nervous system, and your health!  

To learn more about bring emotional well-being, and getting a great side effect of stopping the creation of worry wrinkles, get in touch with me for Heartfelt Stress Relief!

from the heart,

Lianda