There's a joke about someone who is very self-centered person talking incessantly about their opinions.
“Well, that’s enough about me … now what do YOU think about me?”
While conversation is not about one person constantly talking, and another person listening, it is important to have, and express an opinion. The reason is simple: That opinion communicates your preference of what you want, and what makes you happy. If you don’t know what makes you happy, you are not going to be happy!
So, what makes us feel an emotion? What makes us happy or sad? Actually the answer is quite simple.
We are happy when we get what we want,
and alternately, we are unhappy when we don't get what we want.
Now, this is actually VERY important information that mystifies many people. Some people believe that they're just depressed and that it's not related to anything specifically. There are many who really are not in touch with their "needs" and desires. These are the kind of people who may always answer your question,
"what do you want to do?" with,
"I don't care, whatever you want is fine." Indeed that person may be you!
For a while it might feel fine to always do what you choose, but when you have a relationship with a friend or partner, it can become a burden to always be the one to decide what activity, what food, what movie to see!
If you are the person who is mostly deferring to others, I hope you are paying attention! You might want to learn more about personality types by reading about the Enneagram with particular attention to Type 9. In fact, anyone who is interested in self-knowledge will benefit from learning about the powerful tool called the enneagram
It's true that sometimes the cause of our moods is truly elusive. But we come equipped with a fail-safe, built in, canary in the coal mine: OUR BODIES! Yes, when we are not paying attention to our feelings over time, our body provides a back-up system. In the beginning for some of us, it's literally "a pain in the neck". Listen to the words you use to describe something that annoys you, and then see if that's actually where you get your reminder about unhappiness!
Our bodies are going to react to our negative feelings with symptoms. When those feelings become habitual, and go from the realm of mild annoyance to habitual negative feelings, this is the definition of stress.
Tight shoulder muscles is common area that is indicative of mild stress. But when we ignore our feelings for long enough, our body is going to increase the hint: Pay Attention! Depending upon the cause of your feelings, you may have different symptoms and illnesses according to one of my favorite authors, Louise Hay.
There are many illnesses and disorders that can be directly linked to untreated stress. They may begin as annoying problems, perhaps with skin rashes, and manageable pain, but can become life-threatening and life altering illnesses. Hypertension means what it says: You have anxiety and tension that is overwhelming, and effecting your body.
Did you know that most heart attacks take place on Monday morning at 9am, when people are returning to work after the weekend? Our heart is telling us something! Why do you think it's called a Heart Attack?
According the American Institute of Stress, 75-90% of all visits to doctors result from stress related disorders.
The question is, with all of these warnings, symptoms and finally life threatening diseases, why is it that people still opt to take a pill to lessen the symptoms rather than deal with the source of the problem? The source is that you are unhappy, and you CAN do something to change that! Happiness is a choice. I don't mean to belittle anyone's terrible loss or personal suffering, or to be a "polyanna" but many people who suffer horrific losses in their lives have found new meaning and a reason to live on and be happy.
There are so many ways to find happiness. Living a life of purpose: serving others with your talents, passion or unique qualities is the path towards living a life in Integrity. When you live your life in this type of alignment, happiness and satisfaction is a natural byproduct.
Do you know your purpose? It's time you rediscovered the things that make you joyful. Fill your life with them and watch the tension go down, and the happiness rise to the top. Happiness is your birthright, it's your personal responsibility! The path to happiness and health is to know yourself and what you want in life.
You don't want to be on your deathbed thinking: "I should have...."
from the heart,
Lianda
