Art Preferences, Opinion and Personal Responsibility

"You're the artist, you decide", some of my clients tell me. I can certainly make decisions about a calligraphy layout that can fit many people's preferences, but I think that everyone must realize that they DO have a preference. Even little children know what colors and kinds of clothes they like to wear. Within any decision, there is room for your personal preference.

It's not about being right or wrong. It's about honoring your unique view of the world. Yes, art can be expressed in countless ways, and to give over that choice to someone else is negating the importance of your vision. Many people say to me "I'm not creative, I don't know what's the best decision; I don't know what I like." But just think about it, if you are buying something for yourself, unless you will not be using or seeing your purchase, it will be part of your life. You might as well put some of yourself into that decision and LEARN about your preferences.

An unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates, in Plato

Personal choice is one of the most important characteristics of our lives as human beings. Unlike animals that live primarily by instincts, we get to choose our path through life. Whether the choice works out the way we had envisioned or not, and what we tell ourselves about our choices is a determining factor as to how we define our lives: happy, successful, or whatever terms we use. People who have strong self-esteem are willing to take personal responsibility and make choices; and accept and deal with the consequences.

Getting back to art and calligraphy, many times the choice that you are being asked to make is about a decision for a gift. Oftentimes I find people making a choice based upon their own preferences rather than the preference of the person receiving a gift! That's probably not the best way to make a choice for your recipient. Think about THEIR preferences instead! If you don't know, maybe that's an indication you need to learn more about that person! Think about the clothes they wear, the colors they prefer, even their food choices can tell you something about them! You can also ask them questions and find out things about them that make you feel closer to them! It's a great opportunity.  And if you get them a gift that really fits their preferences, they will appreciate it even more!  (that's why I have custom gift choices available on my website)

So here's my latest calligraphy border that I would describe as "Contemporary and Colorful". See if that's something that you like, or get to know your preferences - do you like something more traditional, historical, muted colors, or pastels? Honor your opinions, but don't get stuck and stubborn. Being open to considering other choices is a sign of healthy flexibility. And please, realize that there is no right or wrong - If someone doesn't like this border design, I know, it is THEIR opinion, not a statement about my self-worth! How much better we could all get along if we realized that statements from others are simply their opinion and no reason for disagreement or anger!

So, those are my Words To Live By for now!

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword: The Power of Words

Being a counselor/coach and a calligrapher, I have always found motivational quotes to be inspirational. Over the years I have collected my favorites, and even found myself coming up quotable comments that others have used. These statements are what I call: "Words To Live By". They are literally words that you want near you all the time. They remind, motivate, inspire and keep us on the right path in our lives.

I'm going to share one of my favorite quotes weekly. And, I'm not only going to write the quote, but a short explanation from a counselor or coach's perspective AND I'm going to write the quote in calligraphy and post that as well. That way you'll have meaningful quotes that are also beautiful calligraphy! If you like the quote, you can write to me and purchase a digital download of my Words To Live By to post to your refrigerator, put by your desk, or to stick on your bathroom mirror.

If you have a quote that you love feel free to share it with me. If I choose to calligraph the quote, I'll send you a free digital download for your personal use. So, be thinking about what words have power in your life. Remember, "The Pen is Mightier than the Sword"!

In some ways, that's a perfect quote to start with. What does it say to me? It tells me that words have the power to change everything from governments, using the power of the criticism combined with the press; to changing individuals, from the power of realization of Truth. These changes do not have to be made with the threat of violence because the words alone have the power to force change.

Because this blog is essentially coaching for ourselves as individuals, I'm going to focus on the effect of words that we use for ourselves and in relationships, not for political change. What comes to mind for me has to do with the power of words in communication with our partners (spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend) family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances.

I also think about the power of words on our personal health; such as these way we use words to describe ourselves: "I'm depressed", "I'm fat", "I'm a loser", etc..  Our words reinforce this belief, and our body reacts to this continuing barrage of negative statements with corresponding changes in our health! This is thoroughly researched and documented. That's one of the reasons I spend much of my coaching time teaching people about the power of positive affirmations.

Then there's the effect of words spoken in anger. Think about how once these words are said out loud, they can NEVER be taken back. Apology or not, the person has heard what you have said, and the more cutting the words, the less likely they will ever be forgotten. I'm certain that you can remember the worst things that people have ever said to or about you.

That is an important reminder about gossip and spreading rumors.  Before you use the power of words, think about the effect they may have on others. What is your reason for speaking negatively about others? Would you use those words directly to that person, and what are you wanting to accomplish by speaking those words? (more on anger and healthy ways to communicate in future posts).

So, as a first post, I want to encourage you to think about the power of your words BEFORE you speak. Think about how you have to power to encourage, support, engage, strengthen the person to whom you are speaking.  AND you also have the power to destroy with the words you choose to use.

Think first before speaking: Who am I, and how do I see myself if I use those powerful words? Am I speaking with integrity? If you have made the right choice, then make sure you say something nice to yourself about the choice you have made to be positive and caring. Remember these words don’t have to be said out loud or directed to someone else – the words we think about and say silently about OURSELVES are just as profound.

From the heart,

Lianda