The Cure For Stress

I recently had a wake-up call.  My body was SCREAMING at me:  "You are stressed!  Something is not right!  Pay Attention"!!

But how could that be?  I couldn't read the writing on the wall.  So, my emotions got progressively more strained, and my body started bringing on physical symptoms to show me that my conflicted feelings were not getting resolved.

You see, I had just been offered the chance of a lifetime.  It was the strong possibility of getting in a position where that I had eluded me at an earlier time in my life. I could be involved in a level of making policy and helping my community in the chance of a lifetime!  Of COURSE I should be thrilled, but I had this "gut feeling" every time I thought about the possibility actually coming true.  It wasn't a good feeling.

I tried to think it through, to consider if fear of failure was making me uncomfortable.  I worked hard with all my powerful stress reduction techniques that normally worked so well.  But then I finally realized something.  I was pushing myself to do something that I didn't want to do.  At this point in my life, I have different goals and aspirations.  To take this other position would prevent me from moving forward in the direction that I REALLY wanted to pursue.  As soon as I listened to my heart (which indeed, is my favorite stress relief technique) I heard the reason for my stress and realized the way the relieve my stress.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; 

what is essential is invisible to the eye. 

Antoine de Saint-Exupery 

Stress can perform a very important function. It is there to tell us something is wrong.  It was telling me that I wasn't following my heart.  Sure, I could take that offered position, but I would have been following the wrong path for what my needs are now.

Many people do take the wrong road, and end up relying on anxiety meds, drinking, drugs, or even do positive stress reduction techniques.  But the most important lesson I have learned is:  the best way to relieve stress is to make a decision that fits with your heart.  You know it in your heart when you're going in the right direction, and your body won't be giving you painful reminders until you listen!

from the heart,
Lianda

Wrinkles, Aging & Stress

It is probably next to impossible to determine how much money is being spent in western countries on anti-wrinkle potions, botox, plastic surgery and other methods to disguise our true face.  Other options to reduce the signs of life on our faces are yoga and other exercises for facial muscles.  There are facial exercise devices, electrical stimulation, acupuncture.  Smokers are told that their habit will cause lines around the mouth (is it from the smoke, or the repeated action of sucking on a cigarette?).  We're told to stay out of the sun, get more sleep, drink more water....

The one thing in common that is missing is the answer to wrinkles that we "know in our hearts".  Wrinkles are caused by holding our muscles in a particular expression over time.  Yes, that "old wives tale" is true!  Worry causes tightening of muscles groups in your face that will create lines over time.  Smiling will also create wrinkles - but which ones would you rather have?

So, instead of suggesting that buy a particularly good wrinkle  potion, I'm going to suggest an alternative form of wrinkle prevention.  STOP WORRYING!

"Worrying is like pre-paying a toll for a bridge you may never cross!"

When you pay attention in the moment to your emotions and how you are feeling, close your eyes and focus on where you hold tension in your body.  Most people feel tension in their shoulders.  But this may be the most interesting thing of all:  there is also an expression on your face that shows inner tension, or fear (or any emotion for that matter!).  To me, this is the most interesting thing of all. Research shows that there is a feedback loop: if you hold that expression on your face, the rest of your body responds to that expression and you start feeling the emotion. That means if you smile, you'll FEEL HAPPIER!!!

What does this mean and how can this help us? If you've been responding to events in your life with worry, or tension, look at your face.  Have you habitually been holding this expression on your face?  Do you already have wrinkles that are etched into your face?  Pay attention to the tight feelings in your face.  Then reduce them by focusing on joy, happiness and good memories.  You will feel an immediate change from the tight band across your forehead, the tightening of your eyes to a loosened relaxation in your face.

Yes, by focusing on joy, you change your facial expression, and that has an effect on not only your wrinkles, but on your autonomic nervous system, and your health!  

To learn more about bring emotional well-being, and getting a great side effect of stopping the creation of worry wrinkles, get in touch with me for Heartfelt Stress Relief!

from the heart,

Lianda

Why that Heart & Compass?

You know it in your heart.  When you're upset, worried, anxious, depressed, not sleeping, it's because you're heartsick!

From the beginning of recorded human history, people have referred to the "Heart" as more than just a pump for blood in our bodies.  Did you know that the 1st sign of life in a fetus is a beating heart: and that's BEFORE there's even a brainstem!  We speak of of heart metaphorically in language:  I love you with all my heart, I'm heartbroken, I'm speaking to you from my heart....
Why don't we say: I love you with all my liver, I'm brain-broken, I'm speaking to you from my kidneys?

The fact is, our heart IS our center, and it's been shown to physiologically be the control tower of our bodies.  No, it's not your brain - because you can be brain dead (I'm not being funny here) and your heart goes on beating!  Now that I'm thinking about it, I do know some brain dead people....  but they're politicians!  (ok - now I'm kidding)

So why am I telling you this? Because when you are feeling stress, your heartbeat is disorganized, the rest of the body follows along.  It's like you have your foot on the gas pedal and the brake at the same time.  It's a jerky, and unsafe ride.  That's what happens to our body when we're under stress!
There's a lot of scientific jargon behind how and why this is happening, but I'm assuming that you don't want to read about it now.  The bottom line is: what can you do about it?  How can you make a smooth ride, and have your body's systems following a calm pattern?

That's where I come in with Heartfelt Stress Relief.  I can help you to achieve that state of calm by changing your heart rate variability just by using your heart as a compass, and focusing on appreciation.  Yah, yah you might be saying: "how can you prove to me that  it works?"  You will feel it!  And if you're one of the kind of people like me who need to see proof, I have a biofeedback type of device  that shows you in "real time" - as you're doing this technique that your heart changes, and you WILL feel the difference!

And that translates into less stress, better & deeper sleep, better communication = better relationships, lowered blood pressure, control of uncontrolled eating, eased pain..... and so much more! This has been PROVEN to work - and fast!

If you'd like a demonstration, just write and I'll show you how this can change your life right now.  Why wait? Why become reliant on medication when you have the power to do this for yourself?  Why suffer when you can use your heart as the road map to better health and well-being?  Don't wait, let's have a "heart to heart" talk -

from the heart,
Lianda

Relationship between Stress and Health

FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, I AM OFFERING A FREE SESSION 

FOR IMMEDIATE STRESS RELIEF....  

Read below (and then email me to arrange for your appointment)

There is so much that has been written about the relationship of stress and illness.  But truly, we probably all know about that intuitively.  We say things like, “this is making me sick”, describe a situation as a “pain in the neck”, a sad event as “heartbreaking”, and use many other expressions to link our emotional state with our health.  But have you actually looked at your own health to see if you have become sick in times when you have been under the most stress?  

Conversely, have you thought about the effect of being sick during a time “you could least afford it”, and how your fighting illness affected the intensity or duration of your illness? 

Stress creates physical responses in your body with the release of the stress hormone cortisol into your autonomic nervous system.  Cortisol is the culprit in heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, thinning of bones, loss of muscle mass, increase in belly fat, decrease in hair!  According to the American Institute of Stress, 75-90% of all visits to doctors result from stress related disorders!  Accumulated over time habitual stress can depress you, burn you out, make you sick or even kill you!

Have you been told to reduce stress,

tried and seem to be on a treadmill you can’t get off?

Right now, I’m doing an survey to assess the level of personal awareness of the effect of worry, anxiety and or stress on your perceived level of health.  During this short call, participants will be taught a new stress relief technique to experience.  This technique is one that has been rigorously studied in scientific experiments and shown to work quickly and effectively. I will teach you this technique at the end of the survey, and you will feel an immediate relief.  Then you'll be able to practice it on your own and see how it works for you.

Also, helping others is a great way to relieve stress, so know that you'll be helping me as well.  Please email me with your name (first is ok, phone number, time zone, and when it's a good time to call you).  I'll look forward to meeting you during our call!

Thanks from the heart,

Lianda

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword: The Power of Words

Being a counselor/coach and a calligrapher, I have always found motivational quotes to be inspirational. Over the years I have collected my favorites, and even found myself coming up quotable comments that others have used. These statements are what I call: "Words To Live By". They are literally words that you want near you all the time. They remind, motivate, inspire and keep us on the right path in our lives.

I'm going to share one of my favorite quotes weekly. And, I'm not only going to write the quote, but a short explanation from a counselor or coach's perspective AND I'm going to write the quote in calligraphy and post that as well. That way you'll have meaningful quotes that are also beautiful calligraphy! If you like the quote, you can write to me and purchase a digital download of my Words To Live By to post to your refrigerator, put by your desk, or to stick on your bathroom mirror.

If you have a quote that you love feel free to share it with me. If I choose to calligraph the quote, I'll send you a free digital download for your personal use. So, be thinking about what words have power in your life. Remember, "The Pen is Mightier than the Sword"!

In some ways, that's a perfect quote to start with. What does it say to me? It tells me that words have the power to change everything from governments, using the power of the criticism combined with the press; to changing individuals, from the power of realization of Truth. These changes do not have to be made with the threat of violence because the words alone have the power to force change.

Because this blog is essentially coaching for ourselves as individuals, I'm going to focus on the effect of words that we use for ourselves and in relationships, not for political change. What comes to mind for me has to do with the power of words in communication with our partners (spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend) family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances.

I also think about the power of words on our personal health; such as these way we use words to describe ourselves: "I'm depressed", "I'm fat", "I'm a loser", etc..  Our words reinforce this belief, and our body reacts to this continuing barrage of negative statements with corresponding changes in our health! This is thoroughly researched and documented. That's one of the reasons I spend much of my coaching time teaching people about the power of positive affirmations.

Then there's the effect of words spoken in anger. Think about how once these words are said out loud, they can NEVER be taken back. Apology or not, the person has heard what you have said, and the more cutting the words, the less likely they will ever be forgotten. I'm certain that you can remember the worst things that people have ever said to or about you.

That is an important reminder about gossip and spreading rumors.  Before you use the power of words, think about the effect they may have on others. What is your reason for speaking negatively about others? Would you use those words directly to that person, and what are you wanting to accomplish by speaking those words? (more on anger and healthy ways to communicate in future posts).

So, as a first post, I want to encourage you to think about the power of your words BEFORE you speak. Think about how you have to power to encourage, support, engage, strengthen the person to whom you are speaking.  AND you also have the power to destroy with the words you choose to use.

Think first before speaking: Who am I, and how do I see myself if I use those powerful words? Am I speaking with integrity? If you have made the right choice, then make sure you say something nice to yourself about the choice you have made to be positive and caring. Remember these words don’t have to be said out loud or directed to someone else – the words we think about and say silently about OURSELVES are just as profound.

From the heart,

Lianda